Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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