It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
