is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
