they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
