well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
