K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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