ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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