DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
