This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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