The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize