U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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