Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
