I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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