worst night to have a conscience
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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