Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
