dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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