I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
