: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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