wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
