He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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