the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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