the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
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Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
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Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Damn victory sex feels great
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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