Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
