What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
