Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
