My girlfriend figured out who you are.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize