I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
