How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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