Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hippo gnu deer
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
