what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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