I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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