3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
