Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize