i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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