Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
