at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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