Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
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And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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