Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
