chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
