woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
