all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
