Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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