i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
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Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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