I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
