i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
