That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
