my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
