i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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