you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
