why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
