i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
