I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
