thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize