I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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