I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
