real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
