I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
