I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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