I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
