I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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